I didn’t set out to become a parent coach . I set out to become a mom. I imagined the usual things: bedtime stories, scraped knees, snuggles, belly laughs, and hard-but-manageable moments of parenting. I was a realist—I knew parenting would be tough. But I didn’t expect to be thrown into the deep-end of parenting, without a life vest and surrounded by 6’ waves and people yelling at me from their boat that the water was fiiiiiine. When we brought our son home, he was not “fine”. Rides in the car left him sweaty and visibly distressed. Every night between 8pm and midnight, he cried inconsolably. The pediatrician told me, “He’s fine.” My gut told me otherwise. The red flags piled up: feeding challenges, constant crying, physical tension, visual tracking issues...just to name a few—and still, the professionals kept insisting he was “fine.” But he wasn’t fine. And neither was I. As he grew, behaviors started popping up and then intensified. He was wild and explosive, constantly crashing and climbing and pounding. I had an OT once tell me that she got "a little sweaty" before going into session with him. His speech was slow to develop and difficult to understand, like he was talking through a filter. He was frustrated and my nervous system was fried. I was trying to apply the parenting advice I’d heard—the “calm voice,” the “gentle correction,” the “just love them through it.” But, inside, I was on fire and nothing was working. Honestly? I was drowning and I needed help. But more often than not, the professionals I turned to gaslit me—or worse, pathologized my child while missing the bigger picture. And so began a journey I wasn’t remotely prepared for—but one I refused to give up on. I did what so many parents of neurodivergent or trauma-impacted kids end up doing: We become the experts our child needs. You can relate, right? When out of resources, get resourceful! I learned everything I could about the nervous system, early trauma, regulation, brain development, sensory integration, attachment, and more. I took courses. I cried through webinars. I sat in therapy and asked the hard questions about my own shortcomings and how they showed up in my relationship with my children. I learned to co-regulate without spiraling (most of the time), to separate my nervous system from his (again, most of the time), and to build a home where survival wasn’t the only goal. And somewhere along the way, I realized : I couldn’t not share this with others . Because parenting a child with complex needs is often lonely. It’s invisible. And it’s relentless. There are so many parents out there blaming themselves, second-guessing every decision, wondering if they’re “too soft” or “too strict,” trying to apply parenting techniques that won’t work for their child—or for their family--and then beating themselves up for "doing it wrong". I became a certified parent coach because I couldn’t stand the thought of other parents going through this alone . Because I know what it’s like to be in the weeds, and I know how life-changing it is when someone finally sees you and says, “You’re not crazy. You’re not failing. You make sense and so does your child.” This work isn’t about fixing kids. It’s about seeing them (and ourselves) through a new lens. Rebuilding trust. Finding peace. And reclaiming the joy in parenting...in LIFE—even when it’s still hard. So that’s my why. I do this work because I’ve lived it. And if you’re in the thick of it right now, I see you. There’s hope. You’re not alone. Want to talk?
Let’s connect. Book a free discovery call at https://calendly.com/elexawagaman or just shoot me a message. I’d love to hear your story.